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Writer's pictureBen McLaughlin

What motivates me?

Updated: Dec 12, 2019

Having sat in front of my computer pondering this question for about half an hour, it occurred to me that I had been trying to answer a subtly different question: "What motivates people?"


Interestingly I had completely overlooked providing a more personal, and appropriate, answer to the question "What motivates me?" and my mind had jumped straight to philosophical and psychological theories about motivation. I believe this is because I'm not quite sure what motivates me personally. I will attempt to have an answer by the end of this post.


I was in the Army Cadet Force for four years and during my time there I had to do a lot of tasks that I found monotonous, overly challenging and pointless. Although I could have quit at any time, I stayed because I felt empowered when overcoming the cynicism that made me hesitant to get a job done.

My Platoon and I on my final annual camp in 2019. I'm fifth from the right on the middle row.

I think being a cadet for so long has moulded me into a person that will do what they are told. To be honest, I don't have a problem with this - it has made me a much more useful and productive person.


I realise that I have presented myself as someone who will follow orders blindly, however I would more accurately describe myself as someone who will follow orders cynically. The Cadet Force has trained me to happily complete a task that I don't want to do. However, I still have a problem with the reason why I'm doing it. This doesn't mean I'll put less effort into the task - once I've committed to starting something, I'll finish it to the best of my ability.


On reflection, I don't think I ever really wanted to do my A-levels, with the exception of Economics. I found Maths too abstract and tedious, whereas I loved Physics but found it punishingly difficult. Yet I worked very hard at them and came out with a respectable set of results.


All that being said I have actually done things that I did want to do, believe it or not. I've made films, created tabletop games, taught myself the guitar and done a whole manor of other creative activities because I enjoyed doing them. I have also read and researched a variety of topics ranging from classical civilisation to psychoanalysis simply because I find them fascinating.


I don't believe there is a difference in my level of motivation to complete tasks I want to do and tasks I don't. Although I do believe that I am more proactive when it comes to subjects and projects that I am interested in and I enjoy completing tasks I am interested in much more than tasks I'm not. That being said, I don't think I am motivated by enjoyment - If that were the case, I would've quit the Cadet Force after about a month.


Reflecting on my thoughts, I think I am motivated by the desire to be useful and productive. In my down time, when I don't have to serve someone or produce something, I can immerse myself in my interests. Fortunately for me, I am genuinely interested in my course - Film and VFX, so I expect that my work and my down time will overlap significantly over the next four years.



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